Colorado: Lee Greenwood

VOTE LIBERTARIAN

At the request of a lobbyist, a renowned Capitol ghostwriter came up with two Top 10 lists on Why You Don't Want Your Daughter Marrying a Republican and, likewise, Why You Don't Want Your Daughter Marrying a Democrat.

The lists include:

REPUBLICANS

1 Seriously, who wants to hear Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA at a wedding?

2 Never any recording space left on TiVo because of all the Bill O'Reilly shows.

3 They'll be forced to buy crappy cars made in America.

DEMOCRATS

1 In all likelihood they will live their lives in abject poverty.

2 Only choices of reading material in their bathroom are Mother Jones, High Times or a dog-eared copy of The Audacity of Hope.