Daniel Kurtzman:
"Secretary of Defense Robert Gates was on 'Meet the Press' yesterday. And he said that Barack Obama is more analytical than President Bush. Well, there's a shock, huh? I think Tickle Me Elmo is more analytical than President Bush." --Jay Leno
"Actually, this past weekend, the Conservative Political Action Conference picked Mitt Romney over Sarah Palin in their straw poll to be the next presidential candidate. Yeah. Well, it's kind of interesting. I mean, one is just a pretty face, obsessed with makeup and hair. And the other, of course, is the governor of Alaska." --Jay Leno
"How many watched the Obama speech on Tuesday night? If you didn't see it, I'll give you the short version.